


Serenity

by jenniferjun1per



Series: Rebelcaptain tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Fluff, Post-Battle of Scarif, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10038734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenniferjun1per/pseuds/jenniferjun1per
Summary: A year after Scarif, Cassian reflects.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Rebelcaptain prompt #3 on tumblr

It’s almost impossible to find moments of peace in times of war, but Cassian thinks he’s found it.

 

The morning light hasn’t filtered through the tiny window of his quarters yet, and it’s early, so very early, but this is time he wouldn’t give up for the world. She lies next to him, calm and peaceful in sleep, and he ghosts his fingers ever so lightly on her skin. He doesn’t want to wake her, never wants to wake her, but he can’t resist the touch, if only to prove to his doubting mind that she’s real.

 

It’s been a year to the day since Scarif, and he hasn’t had much opportunity to reflect on how his life has changed. A life he almost didn’t have. He swipes the back of his hand across his brow as the memories of that day filter through his consciousness, as if he could wipe them away with that simple gesture. His heart almost gives out as he remembers Jyn on that beach, her face so open to him, her eyes saying everything her lips couldn’t. The ache he felt when he thought that would be the last time he would see her was beyond anything he had ever felt in his life.

 

And yet here she is. Here they are. He gently brushes aside a lock of hair from her face, and wonders at how they got here, at how  _ she _ is still here. She didn’t have any ties to the Rebellion, didn’t have any reason to stay. They had offered her her freedom, but she had merely shrugged, looked pointedly at Cassian, and said she wanted to stay. His heart had bottomed out into his stomach at that point, and if he hadn’t already been leaning against the wall he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have had the strength to stand.

 

He’s not a perfect man, he knows that, he’s done some terrible things, but what is almost inexplicable to him is that she knows that too. And yet here she is.

 

They had fought once, when he couldn’t make himself comprehend why she would want to stay, when the self-loathing had once again permeated his thoughts. He had catalogued the horrible things he had done, spitting it all out through gritted teeth, convinced it would make her want to leave, hoping beyond hope that she would stay. She had yelled back, just as loud, just as harsh, with horrible acts of her own, and even though he knew her history, had read her file even before they’d met, hearing those things coming out of her mouth, seeing the way her eyes blazed with fury and indignation and  _ regret _ , snapped something inside of him. He pulled her into his arms then, and they held each other, crying silent tears for the people they once were, the people they didn’t want to be anymore. She had fisted her hands into his shirt, wet with her tears, and whispered,  _ I’m not going anywhere _ . In his head, he made a promise then, to himself, and to her.

 

He had made the preparations then, sneaking around behind her back had not been easy. He hated having to enlist Bodhi, hated having to ask him to lie to her, but Bodhi was the only one who could do the supply runs without suspicion. But when Bodhi found out why, he had complied without a word, patting Cassian on the back with the widest smile Cassian had ever seen on him. Chirrut had helped with the parts of the ceremony Cassian was fuzzy with, Cassian insisting only on the Festian vows that he knew his parents had shared. Baze had clucked his tongue and rolled his eyes at most of it, but out of the corner of his eye, sometimes Cassian would catch him looking on with fondness, which would promptly disappear as soon as Cassian looked up.

 

Kaytoo had been harder to convince. Cassian hadn’t programmed him to lie, and Kaytoo couldn’t understand the  _ sentiment _ behind it all. He had reminded Cassian that sentiment wasn’t something that Cassian had ever exhibited, at least not before Jyn. His processors had whirred and clicked then, as he made the correlation. He had agreed then, to help as much as he could, but he didn’t have to like it.

 

Light begins to peek into the room as Cassian’s thoughts bring him back, bring him to where he wants to be. Jyn stirs beside him, her skin brushing against his still sending jolts through his body, still after all this time, after they’ve spent every night like this. She opens her eyes, looks at him sleepily.

 

“Is it time to get up?” she asks, yawning, eyes half closing again.

 

“Not yet, we still have time.” he whispers, pressing his lips to her forehead.

 

“Then why are you awake?” eyelids closing, she presses a hand to his chest.

 

He inhales deeply at her touch, props himself up on his elbows, and looks down at her. He feels settled now, here with her, at one time he would have felt a whirlwind of raging emotions and thoughts in his head. Now, now he just feels a calm. He takes her hand in his.

 

“Jyn, I have something to ask you.”

  
  



End file.
